Why Lauren’s Dog Would Be The Worst Copywriter Ever (And How You Can Not Be Like Her)
Maggie isn’t like your average dog. We actually think she’s part human. She sweats, she knocks on doors, she bites her nails when she’s nervous, and she really, really likes carrots. But she wouldn’t do well as an ad creative. Here’s why:
1- She has a really short attention span.
When you’re a copywriter, you need an attention span. You need to be able to go back and edit your work, listen in on meetings, read briefs, brainstorm, write, and rewrite. And you can’t do that without an attention span.
2- She only sees things from her own perspective.
That’s because she’s a dog. But as a person — and as a writer — you need to be able to see things beyond your perspective. You need to be able to write in the voice of your target audience. If you’re a young female dog and your client’s audience is a middle-aged farmer, you need to speak to the farmer. And to do this, you need to speak like the farmer. Because the farmer won’t understand or relate to your tween canine dialect.
3- She can’t read.
To be a copywriter, you obviously have to be literate. But it goes beyond that. You have to actually do it. A lot. You have to read books and poems and articles and tweets, and you have to be able to learn from them.
4- She gets mad when she doesn’t get her way.
When you work in advertising, things don’t always go your way. Maybe someone else had a better idea, or maybe the client just wanted to change directions. It’s all subjective. Whatever the reason, you need to accept it and move on.
5- She likes to take afternoon naps.
Advertising has long hours. Sometimes, they’re really long. You might leave at 7PM, or you might stay up all night working on a pitch. That means accepting that you’re going to need to work hard. It also means no naps.
6- She has no online presence*.
It’s difficult to succeed as an ad creative when you don’t keep up with the latest trends and current events. It’s also hard to get noticed or taken seriously in the industry without a portfolio, Twitter or blog.
*Aside from the Instagram account Lauren’s little brother once made her.
7- She has unrealistic expectations.
It’s not Mad Men. You’re going to have to produce a lot of work, and quickly. A lot of what you write will be for small projects, like emails, banner ads and pamphlets, and you probably won’t get paid that much for it at first. But it can be really cool sometimes, too. And there is often alcohol.
8- She’s a dog.
Even Equal Opportunity Employment laws don’t matter here. Sorry, canine friends.
Written by Lauren Beader